


The One Where The Normandy Finds Out

by miceenscene



Series: Shakarian - A Descent into Madness [7]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fake Flirting, Fluff, Humor, Pining Whilst In A Relationship, Scheming, Secret Relationship, Some sexy times, The TV Show Friends, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-18 07:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miceenscene/pseuds/miceenscene
Summary: Shepard and Garrus are madly in love, but they still haven't said those three very important little words to each other. Meanwhile, Tali, Liara, Traynor, and Vega have all discovered the more than strictly professional relationship between their commander and the Hierarchy's reaper advisor. But they don't know that they know, so of course, what's a crew to do but have a little fun of their own.Inspired by/directly stolen from FRIENDS Season 5 Ep. 14 - The One Where Everybody Finds Out





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to kelenloth & itsnatunusual for inspiring this one. You did this to me.

     Shepard gasped and it felt like a live spark went through Garrus’ system. Oh, he needed to hear that sound again. He repeated the action, nipping gently at the edge of her ear. She hummed and pressed against him. Her hands scrambled over his armor.

     “Where are the damn latches?” she said, breathy and frustrated. 

     He smiled and took one of her hands in his. “Here.” He guided her to the seals on the sides. She quickly undid them and his chestplate fell away, leaving him in his undersuit. He shivered a little, partially from the temperature in the room and partially from the look in her eyes.

     She leaned up and pressed her mouth against his again. He still wasn’t very used to this whole kissing business. But he was starting to get on board. Especially when she moved and her tongue ran along the backside of one of his mandibles, causing an embarrassingly needy whine to emanate from his chest. 

     She chuckled in her throat. “Everything alright, Garrus?” she asked. He could feel her every breath against his skin.

     “Didn’t know you were such a tease.” He willed his voice to remain steady, running his hands up her thighs as she sat on the console in the battery.

     “Not for long.” She grabbed the bottom of her shirt. 

     He put his hands over hers. “Please… allow me?” She nodded. Her skin was cool under his fingers as he dragged the tips up her sides, pulling the shirt off as he went and tossing it aside. He was rewarded with a full body shudder.

     “Get over here.” She grabbed his cowl and pulled him flush against her as she leaned back on the console. He threaded a hand in her hair and ran his tongue along the column of her neck. There was that gasp again. Spirits, yes. She hitched a leg over his waist and ran her hand up the back of his neck, expertly finding the sensitive spot beneath his fringe. Oh, she was far too good at that.

     “Garrus, can you help me with this mod-KEELAH SE’LAI!”

     Combat training kicked in and Garrus whipped around to face Tali standing just inside of the now closed door of the battery, a partially deconstructed shotgun in her hands. He tried to block Shepard from view, but she also jumped to her feet.

     “SHEPARD??” Her voice was definitely loud enough that the crew would be able to hear her down the very short hall. 

     “Shh!” Shepard waved her hand at her, obviously having the same thought as him. Suddenly noticing her lack of clothing, she wrapped her arms around herself and looked at him in a panic. He had to go retrieve her shirt from where it’d landed on the far side of the battery. Tali was sputtering in the meantime.

     “You?” Tali looked between the two of them rapidly. “You two are… are…?!” 

     “Yes, alright?” Shepard said, tugging the shirt back into place. “Yes. We’re… Ah--” She looked back at him, an uncertain expression on her face. They still hadn’t discussed exactly  _ what _ they were doing. They’d ‘blown off enough steam’ to power a dreadnought by this point. It hardly seemed to fit the bill anymore. 

     “Together…?” she finished. Oh. He hadn’t expected that.

     “When? How-no, don’t answer that. When??”

     “Since the Omega-4 relay,” he supplied. 

     “But that was 3 weeks ago, you’ve kept this a secret that long??” Tali gasped. “Is this why you wouldn’t watch  _ Fleet & Flotilla _ with me last night?!” She pointed an accusatory finger at him. 

     He had to nod.

     Her eyes narrowed behind her hood. “I knew you were being suspicious.” 

     “You can’t tell anyone,” Shepard said, sternly. 

     “But why? People will be happy for you.”

     They looked at each other. When they’d started this, they weren’t even supposed to survive the next day. And now they both knew the clock was ticking before Shepard had to turn herself in and they all had to prepare for war. Time was never on their side.

     “Because it’s a lot of pressure,” he said.

     “And we didn’t want to make a big deal about it,” she finished. He nodded.

     “But it is a big deal!” Tali gestured emphatically. “I have to tell someone.”

     “No!” they both said at the same time.

     “Tali, please don’t tell anyone,” Garrus asked, desperation creeping into his voice.

     “Please,” Shepard said. “We’re just not ready for this to be public knowledge.”

     Tali looked between the two of them then sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll keep your secret.” 

     They both let out audible sighs of relief.

     “But I think you’re both being ridiculous.”

     “I can live with that,” Garrus said, dryly. There was a pause as the three of them suddenly found themselves without anything to say. “...did you still want my help with the mod?”

     “Nope. No. I’ll ask Jacob.” She turned around and muttered, “Have to work on getting certain images out of my head before I can look at you again.” She quickly retreated and the door shut behind her.

     “Well…” Shepard said, running a hand through her hair. “That changes things.”

     If he was a smarter man, he probably wouldn’t have wanted to push his luck. But he was not a smarter man. In fact, he was burning with curiosity. “So we’re… together?”

     She looked over at him quickly, a flicker of worry on her face. “Is… that okay? I know we haven’t really--”

     “Yeah, no. Together--” He stopped to pull his euphoric subvocals back into order. “Together works for me.”

     She relaxed. “It works for me too.”

     But even as elated as he was, he still hesitated. “It may make things more complicated with what’s coming.” Because of course he couldn’t leave well enough alone. Garrus “Always Digging His Own Grave” Vakarian, they should call him.

     She nodded. “I know. But I… want this. I want you.”

     His heart squeezed in his chest. “I want you too.”

     “So…” She smiled slyly. “Do you want to pick up where we left off then?”

     “Really?”

     “By my count, we only have about a week left and I don’t intend to waste a minute of it.”

     “Can’t argue with that logic.” He closed the distance between them, leaning down again. She stopped him by putting her hand against his mouth.

     “But first, lock the damn door.”


	2. Chapter 2

     Shepard spit out her toothpaste and rinsed the brush. She turned off the water and tapped the brush a few times against the edge of the sink. Brushing her hair into a semblance of order, she examined her face for a moment. The cut she’d gotten last week above her brow was almost completely healed, though it’d probably leave a scar. Eh, wouldn’t be her first, nor her last. 

     The faucet dripped and she frowned at it. She tightened the handles, but another drip dropped. Sighing, she left it behind, making a mental note to put in a work request as she left the bathroom. She smiled at the sight that greeted her back in the main cabin. Walking to the top of the stairs, she stopped and just admired the view for a moment. 

     Garrus, curled up in his cocoon of pillows, was fast asleep in her--their bed. After he rejoined the Normandy, he’d first attempted to sleep down in the main battery. And every night she’d asked him to stay with her. Took him almost two weeks before he got the idea and she didn’t have to ask anymore. Now, it was rare that she woke before him, but he’d come in very late the night before. If she didn’t have a scheduled vidcall with Hackett, she would’ve definitely still been there with him.

     She walked a little closer, studying his face. Some people may have thought it strange or even ugly, but she had long since seen the beauty there. Soft grey planes and curves highlighted by his blue colony markings. He was like some sort of living sculpture. A living sculpture with a crack shot, a voice that made her weak in the knees, and an unwavering trust in her. Not to even mention, her best friend in the entire galaxy. She smiled a little. She never stood a chance. 

     Not trying to wake him, she pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his mandible. He stirred anyway, blue eyes blearily blinking open.

     “Go back to sleep,” she whispered, kissing him again. She started to step away, but he wrapped a hand around her wrist and pulled her back towards him. 

     “I am asleep,” he rumbled. Taking full and unfair advantage of his superior strength, he pulled her off her feet and into his arms. It was delightfully warm in his little cocoon, everything smelled of Garrus.

     “This isn’t what I meant.” She smiled as he ran his palm up and down her back. 

     He made the turian equivalent of the ‘shh’ sound. “We’re sleeping now.”

     She groaned a little. Oh, it’d be so much nicer to stay here. “You sleep, I have to go.” Regretfully, she started to extract herself.

     “No, you don’t.” He didn’t stop her progress, but he certainly wasn’t helping. Just watched her struggle to find footholds in the mountains of cushion with half-open eyes.

     “I really do.” She finally found an exit and stood up again. He looked up at her pitifully.

     Before leaving, she cupped his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his for a prolonged moment. She hadn’t understood the Turian gesture for an almost embarrassingly long length of time. But now she appreciated how profoundly intimate it felt. Plus it always made Garrus blush. And when she pulled away, his throat was indeed tinged blue. 

     She smiled. Her thumb traced over the top of his markings and then she pressed a kiss to his forehead as well.

     “See you at lunch?” he asked, his eyes closed as she pulled back.

     “Hopefully.”

     Finally she turned away and headed for the stairs. She stopped at the door and took one last look at him. He smiled and waved a little. She did the same back and headed for the elevator.

     As the doors shut in front of her, a sudden thought occurred to her. It took her breath away. She carried the thought with her through the rest of the day, bumping against it occasionally and marvelling at it all over again. She thought about it through filing reports, through plotting relay paths, through scheduling supply pickups. And by the end of the day, she had to admit that her revelation had not wavered, only grown stronger.

     That night she turned on her side to look at Garrus’ face. He wasn’t asleep yet, but his eyes were closed. She rested a hand on his chest. One of his moved to cover hers, eyes still closed. She almost said something right then and there, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to say it out loud. Not yet.

     Even still, she knew two things to be very true. She loved Garrus Vakarian. And she had no clue how to tell him.


	3. Chapter 3

     Liara pinched the bridge of her nose. She’d been at this for hours and still had not found what she was looking for. It was very frustrating, knowing that they were on a very strict time table and coming up with nothing. Every minute that slipped by was one more minute closer to the destruction of everything they knew. She took a deep breath. Perhaps she should give it a break. It was getting very late and there didn’t seem to be any end in sight. Finding the Catalyst could wait until the morning. 

     She shut down her monitors and grabbed her datapad, sitting down on the foot of her bed to take off her boots. She thumbed through Glyph’s collected list of messages the team had sent and received since she’d last checked. The vast majority she never opened; they simply weren’t important. And she wanted to respect the crew’s privacy as best she could.

     But this time, she frowned. Almost ten minutes ago, Shepard had sent a high priority message to Garrus with the subject line: Very Important Read Immediately. She opened it and her frown changed to confusion. The whole body of the ‘very important message’ was only two words long. 

‘you up?’

     Seeking answers, Liara opened up the chain between the two of them.

‘Everything alright? What’s wrong? -G’

‘nothing. you up?’

‘I’m still awake, yes. What’s going on?’ 

‘aw. do turians not do this?’

‘Do what?’

‘guess not. well let me be the first to introduce you to the proud human tradition of the Booty Call.’

     Liara blinked at the last two words. That couldn’t have translated properly. Something told her that she should just close the chain, but curiosity got the better of her. She scrolled down anyway.

‘Oh, I see. Give me ten minutes and then you can give me another lesson in your fascinating culture.’

‘you have five or im starting without you. again.’

‘Ten. You keep interrupting me and this gun won’t calibrate itself.’

‘yes but  _ this _ gun can calibrate itself. just had six months of self calibration. got pretty good at it too.’

‘I bet you did. But even you can’t calibrate like I can, Shepard.’

‘smug bastard. just get up here and fu-’

     Liara gasped and dropped the datapad. She jumped back from it and slapped a hand over her mouth. Her brain kept stuttering, repeating the same words again and again and again without comprehension. 

     Shepard. And. Garrus. Shepard. And Garrus. Shepard and Garrus. Shepard  _ and _ Garrus.  _ Shepard and Garrus.  _ Shepard AND Garrus. SHEPARD AND GARRUS!!!! 

     She’d uncovered many shocking secrets in her time as Shadow Broker, but none compelled her to rush, barefooted still, out of her room to immediately find someone else to talk to. Of course it was the middle of the night so the floor seemed deserted. But, thank the goddess, Tali was washing a mug in the kitchen.

     “Tali!” Liara practically shouted, running to her and gripping both of Tali’s arms for dear life.

     Tali looked rightfully alarmed. “Liara, what is it? What’s wrong?”

     “Tali, you are never going to believe what I just found out!”

     “Is it the Reapers? Are we in danger?”

     “What? Oh, no. No, it’s not about that at all. Oh, it’s unbelievable!” She let go of Tali’s arms and pressed her hands against her mouth. She froze as the door to the battery opened and Garrus emerged, walking oh so casually towards the elevator.

     “Night, Tali. Liara,” he said, breezily with a wave. 

     “Good night, Garrus,” Tali said, looking between Liara and Garrus with a very concerned expression. Liara just nodded mutely. She waited till she heard the elevator close.

     “It’s… ah. I…” However, the momentary pause had made her reconsider. She really shouldn’t divulge something that she’d discovered through sheer snooping. As badly as she wanted to, it wouldn’t be right.

     As she quibbled, Tali put her mug up to dry and walked round the other side of the counter. “Given that you’re the Shadow Broker, I’m not sure I want to know. Sometimes ignorance is better.”

     “Yes, perhaps…” However, it felt like she may burst from the sheer torture of keeping this new information silent. “But it’s… Oh! Just let me--”

     “No.”

     “But it’s--”

     “No! I’m already at my maximum level of secrets. Any more and I’ll start to overflow.”

     Liara clenched her fists and strained to keep from blurting it out. She looked at her friend carefully, a new thought finally cutting through her three-word mantra. “What if I didn’t  _ tell  _ you?”

     Tali looked at her with a confused expression. 

     A plan quickly formulated in Liara’s mind. “What if you just… discovered it on your own?” 

     “Then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.”

     “And then it would be fine to talk about, yes?” 

     Tali nodded slowly. “Technically, yes.”

     “Fine. Good.” Liara turned as if to go back into her room, but stopped and turned back around. “Oh, Tali, could you do a favor for me? Would you mind going up to Shepard’s room? I lent her a datapad that I really need back.”

     Tali froze. “R-right now?” 

     Liara’s suspicions doubled, as did Tali’s it seemed. They looked at each other for a long moment, eyes narrowed.

     “Do you… know?” Tali asked.

     “Do  _ you _ know?” Liara asked back.

     “...I may know something.”

     “I may know something too.”

     “Well, what’s the thing you know?”

     “I can’t tell you until you tell me what you know.”

     “I can’t tell you what I know.”

     “Then I can’t tell you what I know.”

     “Fine.”

     “Fine.”

     They stood in silence for another moment. 

     Tali looked her over and shook her head. “You don’t know anything,” she scoffed.

     Liara huffed. “Well then, how about  _ I _ go up to Shepard’s bedroom and see the thing that I think that you know is the thing that I know.”

     Tali gasped and pointed. “You know!”

     Liara pointed back. “And you know!”

     “Garrus and Shepard?” Tali asked, dancing from foot to foot.

     “Shepard and Garrus!” 

     Tali rushed forward and grabbed Liara’s arms. “Keelah, Liara, I’ve been dying to talk to someone about this for so long!!”

     “How long have you known?!”

     “Since before Shepard turned herself in!”

     Liara gasped. “They’ve been together that long?”

     Tali nodded quickly. “I know! That’s why I’m dying!!” She quickly batted her hands on Liara’s arms. “But listen, listen, you can’t tell  _ anyone _ , okay? They don’t want anyone to know.”

     “But why? I think they’d be very good together.”

     “They would be! But I don’t know. They’re scared of the pressure or something.”

     “This is Shepard and Garrus we’re talking about. They’ve stared down Reapers, lived through a suicide mission--”

     “And apparently, they can’t talk about their feelings.”

     Liara paused. “Actually, that sounds pretty accurate.”

     “They’re being  _ bosh’tets _ .”

     “Who are being bosh tits?” A voice interrupted them. They both turned and there was Lt. Vega, stretching his shoulder. He looked between the two suddenly frozen ladies. “Whoa, didn’t mean to interrupt anything. Just getting a snack.”

     “How much did you hear?” Liara asked, using her most intimidating Shadow Broker voice. 

     He instinctively took a step back and held up his hands. “Nothing, something about someone being a bosh tit.”

     Liara relaxed, then grabbed Tali’s arm and dragged her back into her room. James watched them go.

     “What the hell was that about?” he muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

     Garrus pulled the trigger and watched the Cerberus agent in his sights fall with a spray of red.  “One less to worry about,” he cheered, out of almost habit at this point.

     He looked up and scanned the field. Only a few agents remaining. Tali was making quick work of the AA guns. Further down, Shepard was running full-tilt. She jumped off a crate, pulling out her omni-blade and shoving it into the chest of an agent. She rolled forward and as she reached her knees, she pulled out a pistol and shot the last two remaining agents. His visor updated the running count with two more headshots.

     When he met people across the galaxy and told them who he worked with, they always were curious about what Shepard was really like. They’d all heard her stories; they all thought they couldn’t possibly be true. He was always very happy to report that everything they’d heard was all true and then some.

     “Nice one!” he said over the comm. 

     She turned back to look in his direction, a grin on her face. “What’s the score?”

     “Nineteen to seventeen. But I’ll give you another point for style with those last two.”

     “AA Guns back online, Shepard,” Tali cut in.

     “And I’m not detecting any more hostiles. Great work, Team Dextro.”

     Garrus smiled and jogged over to Shepard. She was always deadly on the battlefield but she’d been in rare form today. Dodging and rolling, carving a clean path of destruction in her wake. She was amazing. He glanced over his shoulder. Tali was very preoccupied with something under some rubble. Feeling like it was safe enough, Garrus brushed the backs of his gloved fingers against Shepard’s cheek. She looked up, a little startled, but then she smiled warmly at him. Spirits, she was like staring into the sun.

     “Hey, Shepard, you need to get over here.” Tali’s voice interrupted the moment.

     “On my way.” 

     He followed Shepard as she jogged over to where Tali was. As she approached, Tali held out a hand. They stopped. Tali pointed wordlessly to a small opening under some rubble. Shepard leaned down and exhaled softly. A small human child was cowering in the back of the little cave, her knees drawn up to her chest and fear written all over her face. Team Dextro both took a step backwards, as Shepard knelt down by the opening.

     “Hello, my name is Shepard. What’s yours?” she asked. The girl’s voice was too quiet for his translator to pick up. “Kara, that’s a pretty name. Are you hurt, Kara?” 

     “No.”

     “That’s good. Listen, I know you’re scared, but we can protect you.” Shepard pulled off her glove and held out her bare hand into the cave. “Let’s get you somewhere safe. It’s going to be okay.”

     There was an extended pause but then a small dirty hand reached for Shepard’s. She took it gently and helped Kara out of her hiding space. Less than half the size of Shepard, Kara was covered in dust and her clothes had been torn. Effortlessly, Shepard picked her up and Kara tucked her head against her shoulder.

     “Scan for anyone else.” Shepard ordered, quietly. Her ungloved hand held tight to Kara’s shoulders. “I’ll take her back to the camp we passed and I’ll meet you at the shuttle.”

     Garrus and Tali nodded.

     “Come on, Kara,” she said in a soothing voice as she walked away. “There’s a whole camp of people waiting just for you.” Garrus watched her go. 

     That was the side of Shepard that was hard to believe even when he saw it right in front of him. Legendary soldier, fearless leader, that all came standard with the package. But empathetic protector was always surprising even after all these years. Even with all she’d gone through, she hadn’t let it make her calloused. It had only gotten harder with the Reapers invading. The bloody calculus of war was enough to make anyone want to turn off and stop caring. He’d certainly been tempted. But he didn’t allow himself to give in because she hadn’t.

     He knew she struggled. How bitterly she fought for every ounce of compassion. How much caring cost her. The nightmares were difficult to hide. It was a silent agreement between the two of them to not mention them. To just wake her up, pull her close, but keep caring. 

     She was stubborn and deadly and haunted. And he loved her. Precisely how long he’d loved her, he wasn’t quite sure. But he’d known for a while now. Really from that first moment he saw her again on Menae. His world was burning and yet seeing her again felt like the first glimpse of sunshine after a long storm.

     Of course, he hadn’t told her yet. Instead, he’d made many excuses. Maybe she didn’t want him anymore. Maybe she’d changed her mind, six months was a long time. Maybe this was only just about them finding a few moments of comfort in their horrid walk towards the End. Maybe it was better to keep it casual. An implicit permission to move on and continue living should one of them not survive to see the other side.

     But they were all just excuses. They all boiled down to a very simple explanation: he wasn’t certain she felt the same way. And he wasn’t brave enough to ask. So much was terrible around them, he didn’t want to ruin one of the few good things they had left. So he said nothing, and tried to make his feelings apparent in everything but words. Maybe someday he’d be brave enough to actually tell her.


	5. Chapter 5

     Tali set an update to install overnight with an emphatic tap on the screen. The rest of engineering was vacant. Donnelly, Daniels, and Adams had long since retired for the evening. She stifled a yawn as she headed into the hallway and summoned the elevator, feeling very happy to be finally going to bed.

     The door at the starboard end of the hall opened and out strutted Lt. Vega, a wide grin on his face. She rolled her eyes.

     “Evening,” he said, a little too cheerfully.

     “Morning is more like it.” She looked him up and down and shook her head a little.

     “What?”

     “Oh, don’t pretend. I know you weren’t in that room giving an in-depth interview with Miss Allers.”

     “Actually that’s exactly what I was doing.” He quirked his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. She scoffed in disgust. “She wanted to interview a regular marine here on the Normandy,” he continued, still grinning. He turned to look out the windows on the other side of the hallway from the elevator.

     “Really?” she said sarcastically. He nodded. “Then why is your shirt untucked?”

     He looked back at her. “Eh, don’t be jealous, Sparks. She’ll never replace you, you know that.” He winked.

     “Please.” Tali rolled her eyes again.

     “Man, they’re still going at it.”

     “What?” She turned to look at him. He was watching something in the shuttle bay through the window.

     “Scars and Lola. They were sparring when I went in for my interview and they’re still going.”

     The elevator was taking forever to arrive. She pressed the button again.

     “Ooh! Down for the count.” He looked over his shoulder at her. “Hey, you want to bet? Five bucks says Lola can’t unpin herself in time.”

     Keelah. She needed to get them out of this hallway. Now. Tali pressed rapidly on the button. Come on, come on.

     “Oh? Whoa. Wha--Hey. Hey!” Tali looked over as Vega’s tone grew more serious and loud. His mouth was open, frozen in horror. 

     She stepped forward just enough to see down into the bay, confirming her suspicions. 

     “Ah! AH! Garrus and Shepard! GARRUS AND SHEPARD!!” Vega yelled.

     Tali spun back around. “Keelah se’lai, you have a bedroom for a reason,” she said through gritted teeth.

     “AH! Oh, God! My Eyes!! My Eyes! Holy shit!!” James was pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes, as if to wipe the image away. That she understood all too well.

     The door to the elevator finally opened right about the time Javick opened his door at the other end of the hall. Tali grabbed the still yelling James and shoved him inside the elevator with a casual wave to Javick.

     “Primitives,” she heard him grumble.

     “Vega!” She shook his shoulder as the doors shut behind them. “You have to shut up!!”

     “But Garrus and Shepard!!”

     “I know!” 

     “THEY WERE DOING IT!”

     “I KNOW! And Liara knows! But nobody else knows so you have to STOP YELLING!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. That finally cut through his panic and he shut his mouth with an audible clack. She huffed a short breath. “Look. Meet me tomorrow morning in the port lounge and I’ll explain. Until then,” she stepped close to him and pushed a finger against his chest with every word. “You. Tell. No. One. Understood?”

     He nodded quickly.


	6. Chapter 6

     Shepard sighed and silently blessed Cerberus for putting a decent shower in her cabin. She also thanked the Alliance to not touching it during their many retrofits. Bowing her head under the steady stream, she let the water flow over her neck and shoulders. Wash away the stress and strain of battle. Her muscles relaxed and finally feeling clean, she turned it off. 

     She’d been in such a rush to get in that she’d forgotten to bring clothes with her. Not that it was a big deal with her closet being only a few steps away. But it was cold. She tied her towel around her chest and braced for the freezing air as soon as she opened the door. Her teeth clacked together as she tiptoed to avoid the frigid metal floor as much as she could.

     “I told you this ship was cold.”

     She gasped and jumped. Garrus raised a brow plate at her and chuckled. He was sitting on her couch, her armor almost all cleaned in front of him. He soaked his rag in the cleaning solution again and ran it over one of her greaves as she came down the stairs.

     “Oh. You didn’t have to do this,” she said, gesturing to the deconstructed armor.

     “I know.”

     “It was disgusting. I was covered in that rachni goop.”

     “Yes, you were. But not anymore.” He waved the now cleansed greave.

     Her quest forgotten, she picked up the helmet to inspect his work. Of course it was meticulously cleaned, probably even better than she would have done it herself. She put it back down and smiled a little at him.

     “You really didn’t have to,” she repeated.

     “But I wanted to.”

     She had to remind herself to breathe as she felt her heart melt. 

     He grinned at her. “And anyway, someone once told me that the fastest way to a commander’s heart is through cleaning her armor.”

     She laughed a little. “They were right.” She watched him work as he put the finishing touches on the final piece, kneeling on the couch next to him.

     He set down the greave and waved a hand over the sparkling set. “There. All done,” he said, with a distinct note of pride in his voice. 

     She took his chin in her hand so she could kiss him, long and deep. “Thank you,” she whispered, her lips still brushing gently against his mouth plates.

     “You’re welcome.”

     She kissed him again, wrapping her arms about his neck and pressing against him. She reached up and found that one spot that always made him--yes. He rumbled beneath her and she smiled in their kiss. Oh, she loved him. Was this the right time? Should she say it? Right now?

     “Garrus, I--” His eyes opened to meet hers and the words caught in her throat. “I… really appreciate this. It’s a big help,” she finished lamely.

     He smiled and she quickly kissed her way up his mandible until she reached the more delicate skin of his neck. Mentally, though, she berated herself. Dammit, Shepard. What kind of person can stare down a reaper, but chickens out when it comes to telling the most important person in her life how she feels about him? 

     “You know,” he started. She took some solace in the fact that his voice was already deep and wavering. “If I’d known I’d get this kind of reaction, I would have been cleaning your armor for years now.”

     She laughed a little and leaned back to look at him, arms still wrapped about his neck. “And if I’d known that you’d clean my armor, I’d have slept with you sooner.” She smirked at him. 

     He chuckled and ran his fingers over her cheek. “What a wonderful, mutually beneficial relationship we have.”

     “My thoughts exactly.”

     Rumbling, he pulled her back down for another kiss and ran his other hand up the back of her bare thigh. She gasped into his mouth and was suddenly very glad she hadn’t gotten dressed.


	7. Chapter 7

     “So let me get this straight.” Vega ran his hands over his short hair, resting his elbows on the green felt of the poker table. “They’ve been together since before Shepard’s court marshall?”

     Tali nodded from where she sat on the opposite side of the table.

     “And so all the times they said they were off cleaning armor or-or sparring, they were actually…” He screwed his face up in disgust. “Doing it?”

     “If by it, you mean having sex, probably yes,” Tali replied, dryly.

     “Though presumably not every time,” Liara added, sipping her tea as she sat next to Tali.

     “God.” Vega shuddered.

     The two of them had spent the better part of an hour catching him up to speed on the History of his commander and the unofficial XO of the Normandy. Apparently the two of them ...being together was a long time coming. But that didn’t make it any less weird. 

     The image from last night of Scars pinning Lola against the floor; his hands reaching under her tank top, his tongue running against her throat, her head thrown back and flushed; rose to the surface again. He shook his head to physically dispel it. And then a new thought occurred.

     “Wait a second! That time they said they were trapped in that cave-in for an hour on Tuchanka?”

     “I wasn’t even on that ground mission and I thought that seemed a little obvious,” Tali commented.

     “Man, what the fuck? They had me worried!” 

     Liara smiled a little. “I’m sure they’d be touched to know you care.”

     He frowned at her. Of all the people on the Normandy, Liara was the one person he didn’t give too hard a time. He had no clue what she did in her room all day with all those monitors, but something about her felt like she could destroy him if she really wanted to. It was kinda hot, if he was honest. But he was still smart enough to give her some space.

     The three of them froze, however, as the door to the lounge slid open and in walked Specialist Traynor. They stared at her as she surveyed their odd grouping.

     “Is there something we can help you with, Traynor?” Liara asked.

     Her wide brown eyes narrowed. “Maybe…” She seemed to make up her mind. “Are you three talking about how Officer Vakarian and the commander are shagging and they think no one knows?”

     Vega’s mouth dropped open. Holy shit. “How did--” he started.

     “Ay,” Tali cut him off. 

     “What would make you think that?” Liara asked with a far superior poker face.

     “I’m in charge of the commander’s personal communication and they are  _ not _ as subtle as they think they are,” she said with a frown. “Then this morning, Dian--Miss Allers said that she heard James here yelling something about ‘Garrus and Shepard’ out in the hall last night. And when EDI said that the three of you were in here together, I figured that  _ finally _ someone else knew. And it sounds like I’m right.”

_      Holy shit _ . Vega looked back at Tali and Liara, who were sharing a significant look. 

     “Have a seat.” Liara waved a hand to an open chair at the table. 

     Traynor smiled and sat between him and the ladies. “What did I miss?” she asked, folding her hands neatly on the tabletop.

     “We were just catching Vega up on what he missed on the previous two tours of the Normandy,” Tali said.

     Traynor nodded. “It’s quite the story. So what’s the plan then?” she asked.

     All three of them frowned.

     “What do you mean ‘the plan’?” Liara asked.

     Traynor gave her an odd look. “How are we going to mess with them, of course?” She looked between the trio. “I thought that’s what this meeting was…?”

     “No, we were just--” Tali started.

     “Why would we ‘mess’ with them?” Liara interrupted her.

     Traynor laughed a little and looked between the three of them. Her smile dropped off. “Oh, come on. They’ve been taking the piss at our expense for months. Turnabout  _ is _ fair play.”

     Vega leaned in a little closer, a grin spreading across his face. “Oh, hell yes.” Man, if he’d known Traynor was this cool, he would have hung out with her more.

     “No, no.” Tali waved her hands. “No more secrets, no more lies. Enough of us know now that we can just tell them we know. And then everything can finally be out in the open.”

     All three turned towards Liara who still seemed to be weighing her options carefully. “...what did you have in mind?” she asked slowly, her gaze flicking to Traynor. Tali groaned.

     “I didn’t really have anything specific.” Traynor’s brow furrowed. “We could, I don’t know, give them more armor to clean? Or-or never let them be alone when they obviously want to be? Something like that.”

     An idea slowly started to take shape in James’ mind. “Holy shit. I got it.” The three of them looked at him and he smiled. “If we’re gonna fight a war, we need to use the strongest weapon in our arsenal.”

     “Which is?” Liara asked.

     “Me.”

     All three of them frowned at him.

     “What?” Traynor asked.

     “I’ll make Lola think I want to sleep with her,” he explained. 

     Their identical frowns all changed into three radically different expressions. Traynor looked skeptical, Liara looked intrigued, while Tali looked horrified.

     “Do you think that will work?” Liara asked.

     “No offense, Vega,” Traynor added. “But I’ve seen your moves. I’m not sure the commander will buy it.” She shrugged and shook her head.

     “That’s ‘cause I was just messing around. If you gave me ten minutes, I could have you begging for it, Traynor.”

     She regarded him coolly. “I highly doubt that.”

     “That deals with Shepard, but what about Garrus?” Liara frowned.

     “No, no, see? It’s perfect. It messes with them both at the same time. ‘Cause I don’t know what it is about that guy, but something about Scars just says, ‘possessive’, you know?”

     Tali scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You have no idea. Remember how he wouldn’t let anyone even touch the Mako? Because, of course, the C-SEC detective is the perfect person to make repairs, not the Quarian engineer!” She gestured to herself as Liara chuckled.

     “Great, so Sparks is on board.”

     “Wait, I didn’t say that!”

     “Scars will be bothered cause I’ll be making moves on his woman. And Lola will be freaked because, unless she comes clean, she’ll have no reason turn down this.” He flexed and waved a hand over his prodigious chest muscles.

     “Other than she’s your commanding officer and it breaks approximately thirty-seven Alliance codes of conduct,” Traynor pointed out.

     “Apparently she’s not too bent trying to uphold them in the first place.”

     She nodded. “Touche.”

     “No, please.” Tali put a hand in the center of the table. “Can’t we  _ please _ just tell them?”

     Liara looked at her. “We can tell them… after we do the Lieutenant’s plan.”

     He grinned as Tali groaned. Oh, this was gonna be fun.


	8. Chapter 8

     Garrus looked up from the console in the battery as something smelling utterly delicious and strangely familiar met his nose. A sudden memory of dinner in his home growing up came to mind. He looked over his shoulder at the closed door behind him. It was coming from outside. As if he could follow the scent, he opened the door and walked down the catwalk towards the mess area.

     “Now why don’t you ever cook for me, Commander?” Joker asked as he leaned against the counter. Garrus walked a little further up and his jaw dropped open at the sight of Shepard cooking in the kitchen. She moved with methodical grace from cutting board to pan, obviously a seasoned pro. A delectable sizzling sound filled the room as she stirred.

     “You get forty-eight kills on a single ground mission, Joker, and I’ll cook whatever you’d like.” She smirked at him as she turned to roughly chop some vegetables.

     “I would, but you never take me off the ship. I’m starting to think it’s personal.” Joker nodded to him and hobbled away as Garrus approached. Shepard looked up and gave him the small smile that always made his heart skip a beat. 

     “What’s all this?” he asked, watching her stir a sauce before replacing the lid.

     “This is partially a congratulations on the great work you and Tali did on the last mission. And also an apology for the absolutely abysmal rations you have on this ship.” She nodded over to where Joker had gone. “EDI helped me find some dextro recipes and order supplies. So I have a few quarian and turian specialties for you two. I hope I didn’t completely screw them up.”

     “I didn’t know you cooked,” he said, softly.

     “Well, I only cook for people who… are important to me,” she finished in a quiet voice. She glanced up at him significantly. Every fiber of his being wanted to reach out and kiss her. The whole crew bearing witness, be damned. He loved her and by the spirits, he wanted to tell her so and have the whole galaxy know too.

     “Shep--”

     “Hey, Lola,” Vega interrupted, leaning against the opposite end of the counter. Garrus fought back a growl. “Oh, sorry, Scars. Were you going to say something?”

     Garrus bit his tongue and slowly shook his head.

     “Cool. Anyway, what’s cooking? Smells weird.”

     “It’s not for you, Vega,” Shepard replied, patiently.

     “Yeah, Joker mentioned that. Though I gotta say, you being all domestic is really doing it for me.”

     Shepard gave him a flat look. Garrus felt a very odd pang of something. It took him a minute to parse precisely what this feeling was.

     “Whaddya say, Lola?” he continued. “After we kill all the Reapers, and I get a medal of valor for killing the most, how about you and me settle down and get to work on repopulating the Earth? I’ll even show you my abuela’s recipe for huevos rancheros.” He winked and smiled at her.

     Garrus suddenly realized what he was feeling, but he pushed it down. This was just Vega; he was always like this. Garrus must have heard that line about huevos rancheros about a hundred times now.

     Shepard barked a laugh. “Do you really see me as the motherly type?”

     Garrus wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn he saw Vega glance at him. But then he was distracted when, suddenly, Vega’s whole demeanor changed. He straightened up and leaned in close to Shepard. His hand ghosting a touch at her elbow; his head dipping towards hers.

     “Maybe not,” he said in a new tone of voice, softer and deeper. He regarded her closely. “But I could take pretty good care of you, Shepard, if you’d let me.” He paused for a moment and his gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips and back. “Something to think about.”

     And as if he hadn’t just practically proposed to his commander, he stepped back and smiled a little. Garrus felt that pang from before return tenfold. Vega gave her a satisfied nod and sauntered away. Shepard rolled her eyes and went back to cooking as Garrus stared after him. What in the--since when did Vega start talking to Shepard like  _ that? _

     Garrus ruminated on their interaction through the entirety of dinner and through the rest of the evening. He gave up trying to calibrate anything and instead cleaned and recleaned and rerecleaned his beloved Mantis. The muscle memory allowing his mind plenty of freedom to wander. He was so focused on trying to parse exactly what he’d witnessed between the two of them that he didn’t notice Shepard stopping by for her nightly check-in.

     “Earth to Garrus, come in Garrus,” she said, tapping his shoulder and jolting him out of his internal debate. How long had she been standing right next to him? “Are you okay?”

     “Y-yeah. Fine.” He put down the rag finally.

     She tilted her head. “You were really quiet during dinner.” Her face quickly shifted from concern to worry. “Oh, god. Was the food bad? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

     “No.” He quickly put a hand on her shoulder. “No, dinner was wonderful. Thank you.”

     “So what’s wrong then?”

     He hesitated. “Nothing.” He shook his head and dropped his hand. He was being ridiculous and he knew it. 

     But she didn’t let him escape. She put her hand over his cheek and turned his head towards her. She just looked at him in her very Shepard way and he caved. 

     “Alright… was it my imagination or was Vega flirting with you before dinner?”

     She frowned. “Vega always flirts with me.”

     “Not like that he doesn’t.”

     “Oh, come on.” She leaned back against the weapons bench and folded her arms. “It was just Vega being Vega. You know how he is.”

     “But this was… different.” He frowned as he remembered the way he looked at her, his hand at her elbow. 

     Her eyebrows rose and a smile hinted in the corners of her mouth. “Why, Garrus Vakarian… are you jealous?”

     He bristled. “Of Jimmy Vega? Please.”

     “Oh my god, you are.” She laughed a little. “Why? You know nothing would ever happen between me and him.”

     “I know.” He shook his head. “It’s not that I’m afraid Vega’s going to steal you or anything. It’s just…”  _ He gets to flirt with you in front of everyone. He gets to offer you the future I want with you because it’s all just a joke to him.  _ But he bit the words back. “Look, if you say it’s just Vega being Vega, then I trust you. Far be it from me to claim that I understand human mating rituals.”

     “Well, I think there’s at least one ritual you understand quite thoroughly,” she quipped.

     He tried to smile but it didn’t quite come out right. She cupped his cheek again so he’d look at her.

     “If it bothers you, just say the word and I’ll make him stop,” she said, softly.

     He sighed. “On what grounds?” It wasn’t as though she could claim a previous entanglement, not without blowing their whole scene wide open.

     “On the grounds that this is my damn ship and he has to do what I say.”

     “You’d do that for me?”

     She looked at him for a long moment, her expression making his heart stop. “Garrus,” she breathed, a smile hinting in her eyes. “I’d get the moon for you if you asked.”

     He hoped that she felt as treasured as she made him feel. “Thank you.” He covered her hand with his and rested his forehead against hers for a long moment. “But I don’t think it would fit here in the battery.”

     He was very gratified to hear her chuckle. 

     “Smart ass.”


	9. Chapter 9

     Shepard scooped the instant coffee powder into her mug as the water boiled in the kettle. Her eyes drifted shut for a moment as she waited. She’d been up all night filing different reports to the many, many people she now reported to. Hackett and Anderson and the Council and the Hierarchy and the Admirals--the list went on and on and she got less and less sleep. She was almost done though, just a few more to submit and then she could finally rest. Maybe if she hurried, she could even see Garrus before he left for the day.

     “Morning!” Vega’s cheerful voice sounded beside her. She dragged her eyes open and glared at him. He had far too much energy for this early hour of day. “Wow, no offense, Lola, but you don’t look so good.”

     “Thanks, James,” she grumbled. The kettle clicked off and she poured the water into her mug, stirring quickly. She took a sip, which immediately burned her tongue and left a fine layer of grit in her mouth. God, this stuff was awful.

     “Long night?” he asked, leaning on the counter next to her.

     “Just a little.” She rubbed some crust out of her eye with the back of her free hand and took another sip. She winced. Still rocket hot.

     “I always wondered how you got it all done. Now I know your secret--the shitty insta coffee. I should give it a go sometime.”

     Her brain was feeling very foggy so she just blinked at him a few times. “Huh?”

     He grinned a little. “Don’t worry about it.”

     She nodded and took another sip. This one didn’t burn her tongue and finally it was just starting to take the edge off. Better.

     “Man,” James continued in a lower voice. She turned to look at him. When had he gotten so close? “It’s gotta be stressful being Commander Shepard. How do you do it?”

     She blinked at him. She may not be fully awake yet, but this felt weird. “Uh… what’s going on, James?” She took a step back but he followed, somehow ending up closer than before.

     “Just trying to get to know you a little better, is that okay?”

     “Yeah, that’s--” She stepped back again and bumped against the fridge. Suddenly he was directly in front of her, just a step too close for comfort. 

     “Listen.” He ran the back of his finger down her forearm. “I know you’re busy. But if you ever need a way to ...blow off steam,” Her eyes grew wide at that particular phrase. “Just let me know. I’d be happy to help you out.” He stepped back, his face strangely serious. “You know where to find me.”

     And he walked away.

     Shepard looked around the otherwise empty mess hall. What the hell? Had what she thought just happened actually happened? Holy  _ shit _ . Her coffee forgotten, she rushed for the elevator and sprinted into her room. The bed was empty but there was water running in the bathroom.

     “Garrus!” Shepard yelled as she opened the door. 

     He looked up from fiddling with the still dripping faucet and smiled at her. “Good morni--”

     “You were right! Holy shit.” She tried to catch her breath and ran a hand over her head.

     “Right about what?”

     “About Vega! He just ...propositioned me in the mess hall!”

     Garrus’ face dropped into something resembling cold rage. “ _ What _ ?”

     “He offered to help me ‘blow off steam’!” Somehow the phrase sounded even more cringey when coming from her lieutenant.

     “Spirits,” he grumbled.

     “I don’t even…”

     The initial shock just starting to wear off, she tried to come to grips with this new bizarre reality. Since when the fuck had James been serious about anything? Especially her? And why the sudden change--Wait. Oh shit. 

     Oh. 

_      SHIT. _

     She gasped and gripped Garrus’ arm.

     “What?”

     “He knows,” she hissed between gritted teeth. She looked up at him. “Vega knows about  _ us _ . Oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

     “Are you sure?” he asked, his mandibles moving back and forth uncertainly.

     “Yes! It’s the only explanation.”

     “But… maybe he's actually Vega’s actually serious? Maybe he really does want to settle down with you and have--no, you’re right. He knows. Spirits.”

     “How the hell did he find out?” She thought they’d been vigilant to keep this quiet. Well, mostly. A few times after a sparring session aside, they were the picture of discretion.

     “I have a pretty good guess.”

     Garrus tore out of the bathroom; Shepard followed closely behind him. They went all the way down to Engineering. Most of the crew wasn’t awake yet, so luckily there was only one soul in the room.

     “Tali,” Garrus growled as he strode in the room. She looked up from her console. Shepard wasn’t sure but she could have sworn she saw her pale under her hood at the sight of the two of them.

     “Morning, Shepard, Garrus,” she said, a little too brightly.

     “Tali, Vega knows about  _ us _ ,” Shepard said.

     She held up her hands. “I didn’t tell them--him! Him.”

     Shepard felt her stomach drop. “Them?”

     “Who’s them?” Garrus asked.

     “Uh… Vega… and me.”

     “Tali,” Garrus warned.

     Her shoulders fell. “And Liara.” 

     Both of their faces dropped. “Oh, shit.”

     “...And Traynor.”

     This was so much worse than she imagined. Practically the whole crew knew. 

     “Oh, god.” Shepard covered her face with her hands.

     “But hey, this is actually a good thing, see? Because now we can just bring everything out into the open and be  _ honest _ about our  _ feelings _ and then I don’t have to keep everyone’s secrets anymore.”

     A thought occurred to Shepard, her tactical mind quickly coming up with an alternate solution to confessing the feelings she still wasn’t ready to share. “Or…” she started. Garrus looked over at her.

     “No! No ‘or’,” Tali pleaded. “This has to end now!”

     “What are you thinking?” Garrus asked, sounding intrigued.

     “They think they’re so clever messing with us.” Shepard shook her head and smiled wickedly. “But they don’t know that we know that they know.”

     Team Dextro stared back at her blankly.

     “I think my translator just broke,” Tali said. Garrus nodded.

     Shepard huffed a breath. “We give them a taste of their own medicine.”

     “Ah-hah. Turn it back on them,” Garrus said, picking up on what she was meaning. Shepard nodded and they shared a grin.

     “Keelah, why?”


	10. Chapter 10

     Vega screwed the barrel of the rifle back into place. He’d been working on cleaning the Normandy’s guns for most of the afternoon. Occasionally, Cortez would chat a little from across the bay, but he was busy too. The last ground mission had been rough on the old Kodiak. The sound of the acetylene torch filled the background, covering up that damn hum he was always hearing.

     He smiled a little as he remembered the interaction he’d had with Shepard that morning. Liara and Traynor were spying from just around the corner and they all agreed it was a resounding success. They planned another pass for dinner time, hopefully Garrus would be around to watch again. Damn, it was fun to watch him lose his mind while trying to keep very tight control.

     “Afternoon, Vega.”

     He turned to see Shepard standing behind him, stopping by for her daily afternoon visit. He nodded to her and turned back to the bench.

     “Hey, Commander.” He put the cap back on the bottle he’d been using. “Next time we make port, we’re going to need some more gun oil. Have enough for now, but don’t want to run too low.”

     “Noted.” She looked over the neatly arranged weapons stacks in the corner. “Anything else?”

     He hadn’t exactly run this by the brains of their little operation, but what the hell. He was a good soldier; he could fly solo for a bit. He picked up an extended barrel and a rag before turning back to lean against the bench as he gave it a thorough cleaning.

     “Not really. Everything here is in tip-top shape. How about you?”

     She froze for a second and he had to suppress a grin. Oh, he was definitely under her skin.

     But then her gaze flipped to him and she distinctly gave him a once over. Whoa. She shifted her weight. It was only the difference of a few muscles, but suddenly she was reading in a way he’d  _ never _ seen her before.

     “You know,” she said in a low throaty voice. “I’ve been thinking all day about what you said this morning.” She walked closer and leaned on the bench next to him. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t… intrigued.”

     He dropped the barrell and it went skittering to the other side of his cube. He flashed her an apologetic grin and went to pick it up. Okay, this was really weird. His heart was beating a million miles an hour. And when he stood back up, it doubled. 

     Shepard was directly behind him. He instinctively jumped back a step, bumping against a stack of crates. She pursued and quickly put her hand on the wall next to his shoulder, trapping his exit despite being almost a foot shorter. She looked at him with a gaze that could only be described as  _ hungry _ .

     “Did you mean what you said?” she asked in that same low voice.

     He nodded stiltedly. And she smiled.

     “I bet I could take pretty good care of you too. You know, I’m very flexible,” she purred. He coughed and her smile spread. “Just ‘something to think about’. I know I will.”

     And she stepped back. She turned and left without another word, her hips swaying with every step. He waited till she got on the elevator before daring to move again. Oh  _ shit _ .


	11. Chapter 11

     Liara looked up from her screen as the door to her room opened. Shepard usually stopped by around this time, however it wasn’t Shepard coming through the door. But rather Traynor and Tali being dragged by an obviously panicking Vega. Oh dear, this could be very bad.

     He locked the door and turned back to face the three of them as he panted, his eyes wild.

     “Is he alright?” Liara asked.

     Traynor shrugged. “He wouldn’t explain. Just said it was urgent.”

     “Guys, we have a problem. A  _ big _ problem,” he said, looking quickly between her and Traynor. “Shepard came by my cube just now and she  _ accepted! _ ”

     Traynor’s eyes doubled in size.

     “What do you mean, accepted?” Liara asked.

     “She said she could take pretty good care of me too! And that she was ‘very flexible’!”

     “Oh my god,” Traynor said, covering her mouth with her hand.

     “Are you serious?” Liara asked.

     “Yes!”

     “Goddess, I can’t believe that Shepard would do that to--” Suddenly, Liara understood what was going on and what exactly had happened. She turned to face Tali who was studying Glyph with rapt attention. “Tali.”

     Tali looked over at her with an all too innocent expression behind her hood. “Hm?”

     Traynor gasped. “Do they know that we know?” she asked, moving to stand beside Liara.

     “Uh, no! No.” Tali shook her head.

     “Tali.” Vega stood next to Traynor, all three staring at her intensely.

     “They know you know,” Tali admitted. 

     Traynor scoffed. “I knew it!”

     “I can’t believe they would do that to us,” Liara said.

     “They think they can mess with us?” Vega demanded, indignantly. “They tryin’ to mess with us??”

     “Oh, no. Well, I guess the game is off now,” Tali started to suggest.

     “Hang on.” Traynor held up a hand. “This doesn’t change anything.” She shook her head. “They don’t know that we know that they know we know.”

     Liara wasn’t sure if her translator had relayed that correctly. But Vega nodded eagerly.

     “So the game’s still on?” he asked.

     “Until one of you blinks,” she finished.

     “And Sparks you can’t tell them anything.” He pointed at Tali.

     She shook her head. “Couldn’t if I wanted to.”


	12. Chapter 12

     Admittedly, when Shepard had told him that Vega had not only flirted with her again, but out right propositioned her, Garrus had been a little furious. Vega was a lucky man that Shepard was smart enough to figure out his little scheme. But now that they all knew there was a game to win, any lingering jealousy had taken a solid backseat to good old-fashioned competitiveness.

     The battleground was chosen for that night at dinner. Each party setting up camp on either side of the mess hall. Most of the crew blissfully unaware of the private war happening all around them.

     “Look at them,” Garrus gloated, watching Vega, Liara, and Traynor huddle up. “They’re panicking.”

     Shepard turned to look at them and lifted her chin. But then she glanced back at him. “You sure you’re not bothered by this?”

     “Not even a little. It’s just a game. And I’m on the team with the superior player.” He smiled down at her and she grinned.

     “If Vega wanted to play chicken, he picked the wrong couple to challenge.”

     Garrus thought that chicken was that meat that all the Humans thought everything in the galaxy tasted like, but perhaps he was wrong.

     “Are  _ you _ okay with this?” he asked her.

     She nodded. “I can always just tell him to buzz off, but I think it’ll be fun to watch him sweat a little first, you know?”

     He matched her grin. “Exactly.”

     “Oh. We have movement.”

     Vega had peeled off from their group and was making his way across the hall. 

     Garrus touched his elbow to hers. “See you on the other side.” He walked away. Even with as casual as he was trying to be, he couldn’t help but stare down Vega as they passed by each other. Vega nodded back with a grin.

     Garrus went and busied himself in the kitchen, rooting around for a halfway decent dextro ration. Shepard had left her comm open so he could listen in on the conversation.

     “Lola.”

     “Vega,” Shepard replied, a hint of amusement in her voice.

     “Man, you are wearing the hell out of that uniform.”

     “It’s the same one I wear everyday.”

     “Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe it’s ‘cause I know you’ve been thinking about me all day while wearing it.”

     Shepard cleared her throat. “Right. Yeah. Thinking… so much.”

     “Well, your thinking has gotten me thinking.”

     “Don’t hurt yourself,” she quipped. Garrus had to fight back the laugh that almost erupted.

     Vega chuckled, but continued, “Well, I was thinking that with this war on, we really don’t have any guarantee that today won’t be our last, you know? We should seize the day while we have it.”

     “I couldn’t agree more.”

     “Great. I get off duty at 2100. I could stop by your place, if you’re still… flexible.”

     Garrus dared to look over the counter. Shepard’s jaw was clenched but she was doing a pretty good job otherwise of seeming somewhat interested. She nodded.

     “It’s a date then,” he said. “I’ll bring wine.”

     “And… I’ll wear that dress Kasumi got me.”

     Finally Vega flinched. He coughed and Shepard smiled at him. He nodded and practically ran away. Shepard’s eyes quickly sought out Garrus’. He gave her a supportive nod. Vega was going down.


	13. Chapter 13

     At exactly 2102 hours, the elevator doors to the loft opened and Vega stepped out with Liara and Traynor in tow. He’d put on the only non-uniform shirt he owned, a short-sleeved light blue button down that was probably too small but whatever he still looked good in it. Liara had chosen the wine.

     “Now we’re going to be listening from here,” Liara said, taking up a post next to the door.

     “You sure you’re ready?” Traynor asked.

     “Please, I’ve got this.” Vega rolled his shoulders, jumping up and down a little. He could do this. Lola and Scars were going down.

     “Oh, wait.” Liara undid the top button on Vega’s shirt.

     He nodded. “Good idea.”

     “You should undo another,” Traynor said. Liara reached but Vega blocked her with his shoulder.

     “Hey, don’t give away the farm.”

 

     “It’ll be perfect,” Garrus said, watching Shepard brush her hair into place. “You’ll make Vega think you want to have sex with him and he’ll cave and then we can keep our little secret.”

     She frowned at her reflection. She didn’t feel right so she headed to her closet. “How far am I going to have to go with him?” She pulled out her N7 hoodie and zipped it up over her dress, not caring that it wasn’t exactly sexy. Much better.

     “Don’t worry, he’s going to give in long before you do.”

     She raised an eyebrow at him as she returned to him. “Are you sure?”

     He rested hands on her shoulders and squeezed. “Hey, we’re Team Shepard. We never lose.”

     “At this??” she asked, incredulously. The door chime sounded and her heart rate doubled.

     “Knock him dead.” He quickly kissed her. And then he ducked into the bathroom. She took a deep breath and opened the door to reveal her lover du jour in his nicest shirt, holding a bottle of wine.

     “Vega.” She leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed casually.

     “Lola,” he replied with a grin.

     “Come on in.” She turned and walked into her office.

     “I brought the wine. Should be pretty good.” He set the bottle and glasses on her desk, popping the cork while maintaining eye contact. “Want some?”

     “Sure.” She leaned on the desk next to him, watching his movements carefully. They were both silent as he poured. Damn, what did people even talk about? Like at all? She suddenly couldn’t remember.

     “So here we are.” He looked back to her. “Nervous?”

     “No,” she lied. “You?”

     “Nah, I’ve wanted this for a while now.” He finished pouring into both glasses and popped the cork back in.

     “Huh?” Shepard felt a cold sweat break out.

     He handed her a glass. “You thought all that flirting was just for show?”

     “Ah-no. No, of course not. I… have… as well. Too.” They clinked their glasses and she chugged the entire thing. Keep it together. She had to win this.

     Vega finished his wine and looked at her for an extended moment. Panic quickly rose.

     “I’m gonna put on some music,” she croaked. She hopped down the stairs and turned on the stereo, picking some god-awful club music.

     “Yeah, let’s dance. I can show you how it’s done.” He swaggered to the top of the steps.

     “I know how it’s done,” she scoffed, crossing her arm and resting her weight on one leg.

     “Really?” He laughed a little. “‘Cause I’ve seen elcor with more rhythm.” He stepped down the steps, easily swaying to the beat. He was surprisingly graceful.

     She nodded, trying to feign interest or really any sort of positive emotion. “...You look good.”

     “Y’know, when you look at me like that it makes me want to tear that… hoodie right off.”

     She fought back a shudder of pure horror and pushed forward. “Why... don’t we move this to the bedroom?” She hoped that sounded more enticing than she was feeling.

     He finally stopped swaying. “R-really?”

     Ooh, hesitation. Thank god. She walked a little closer. “Unless you don’t want to.”

     “No! No. I just wanna… take off all our clothes first and… rub massage oil over each other.”

     She swallowed. “...That’d be… nice.” Shit. “I’ll go get the oil.” Shit shit _shit_. Shepard dashed around him to retreat to the bathroom.

     Garrus looked up from the sink as she fell back against the closed door.

     “I’m calling this off. We are wildly off track!” She ran her hands through her hair. “He wants to rub massage oil over each other!”

     He quirked his head. “Humans do that?”

     “Focus, Garrus! That’s not the issue.”

 

     As soon as the door shut behind Shepard, Vega ran for the door. “She’s not backing down,” Vega whispered, feeling the panic starting to rise. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. “She went to get massage oil!”

     Liara and Traynor frowned at each other. The elevator behind them opened. “Keelah, aren’t you guys done yet? You said this wouldn’t take long.” Tali tapped her foot impatiently.

     “Shh! It’s just getting good,” Traynor said, waving her hand.

     “Tali, look at it this way.” Liara stepped over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “The sooner Vega breaks Shepard, the sooner this is all over and out in the open.”

     Tali sighed. “Fine. But he’s never going to break her like that. He’s wearing too many clothes.”

     “I’ve got it.” Traynor quickly looped a finger between the buttons on Vega’s shirt and, with a tug, his shirt fell open.

     “ _ Mierda _ , Tray… Wow, you didn’t rip off any buttons.”

     She shrugged with a satisfied smirk. “Not my first time.”

     He looked at her appreciatively for a moment and her smirk disappeared. 

     “Wrong tree, Vega,” she said.

     “Right. Yes.”

 

     “Come on, he has to be close to breaking,” Garrus said, trying to soothe. “You’ve head-butted a Krogan, you’ve defeated Sovereign, you can win a game of chicken with your lieutenant.”

     Shepard huffed. “Alright, fine. Fine! Just give me a sec--” She noticed the sink. “Did you fix my faucet?”

     “Of course.”

     She smiled a little at him. Her heart flip-flopped despite the circumstances outside. She could do this. For him. Taking a breath, she exited the bathroom.

     Vega nodded at the trio of ladies backing him up, trying to settle his nerves before returning to the fight. The door shut behind him again.

     “Leaving so soon?” Shepard asked.

     “Not without you… _mi amor._ ” He pulled his shirt back further, revealing his muscled and tattooed torso. “So… like what you see?”

     “It’s… very, very nice.” She didn’t move, just stared at him. “Well… get over here. I’m very glad we’re going to be having all the sex.”

     “You should be. These aren’t the only big muscles I have.” He sauntered towards her and she felt her mouth go dry as a desert. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

     “N-not if I kiss you first.”

     Vega tentatively reached out and grabbed her hip. Shepard copied his motion. He looked at her for a moment and slid a hand across her ass. She couldn’t stop her eyes going wide. But she had to win. So she reached a hand for his bare pectoral, but quickly changed course for his shoulder instead. God, his traps were weirdly huge.

     “Well…” She looked at him like a deer in the headlights. “I guess there’s nothing left for us to do b-but kiss.”

     “Here it comes.” He didn’t move a muscle. “Our first kiss.”

     Slowly, they leaned for each other. Both unintentionally pulling their lips between their teeth as they grew closer and closer till they met in the middle for a very chaste kiss. Shepard was shaking with the effort to keep herself in the game. She could do this, she could do this, she could--gah, fuck. NOPE. She broke and ripped her head away.

     “Alright, alright, alright! Fine!” she shouted. She pushed Vega away, rubbing the back of her hand against her mouth. “You win! I can’t sleep with you!”

     The door to the bathroom and the cabin opened as everyone else poked their heads inside.

     Vega laughed. “And why not?” he asked with a wide shit-eating grin.

     “Because I’m in love with Garrus.  _ Because I’m in love with Garrus _ !!” 

     Vega’s mouth dropped open. Liara gasped. 

     “That’s  _ right _ ! I love him! I. Love. Him.” 

     Garrus emerged from the bathroom and Shepard turned to him. She caught her breath and looked at him for a moment. Emotions she’d been holding back for so long bubbled to the surface and almost overwhelmed her. She wrapped her arms about his neck as his slipped around her waist. 

     “I love you, Garrus.”

     He smiled, looking almost relieved. “I love you too, Shepard.” And he kissed her as best he possibly could, a hand cradling her head and holding her close. She loved him. And he loved her! It felt like she might fly away, if not for his arms solidly around her. She smiled as he kissed her, brushing a hand over his cheek.

     “Man, I just thought you two were just fuckin’. I didn’t know you were in love!” Vega said.

     “By the goddess,” Liara said in a hushed tone, hands clasped to her chest. Tali and Traynor were smiling sweetly.

     They broke their kiss and rested their foreheads against the other’s. They stared at each other for a moment, mirroring each other’s smile. Shepard realized that they still very much had an audience and she laughed a little.

     “Well done, Vega. You were a hell of a competitor.” Shepard held out her hand to shake his, but gripped it with a death grasp. “You ever tell anyone about this and I’ll let Javick make good on his airlock idea.”

     “Also, your shirt is still unbuttoned,” Garrus pointed out, his arms still around Shepard.

     Vega flexed a little. “You know you’re jealous, Scars.”

     Garrus caught Shepard’s eye and smiled down at her, gently brushing his fingers over her cheek. “Not even a little bit.”

     “So that’s it then!” Tali cheered, clapping her hands together. “Everyone’s knows! The secret’s out.”

     “Actually,” Garrus cleared his throat. “Joker doesn’t know.”

     “Yeah, and we’d appreciate it if no one mentioned this to him,” Shepard added.

     Tali glowered.


	14. Chapter 14

     “Commander Shepard has returned to the ship, Advisor Vakarian,” EDI’s calm voice came over the speaker on Garrus’ omnitool.

     “Thank you, EDI.”

     “And she wants you to meet her in the bridge.”

     “On my way.” He put down the dossier he’d been reading and left the battery. They’d been parked at the Citadel all day, but he’d been too busy with Hierarchy business to even step foot off the ship.

     Up in the bridge, Joker and EDI were just beginning the process of undocking the Normandy as Shepard supervised from a few steps behind. While their relationship was now officially the worst kept secret on the Normandy, they still tried to be professional, especially in front of the few remaining unaware parties. So he came up and stood beside her.

     “Reporting for duty, Commander.”

     Shepard smiled up at him. “Got you those mods you requested.” She handed him a bag from Aeghor Munitions. 

     He grinned. “Thank you.”

     “And  _ I _ got you this.” She handed him a box about the size of his hand.

     “What is it?”

     “Open it.” 

     He pulled the lid off and peered inside. Tilting the box, a small glass globe rolled out into his hand, opaque and covered in craters. He pressed the button on the bottom and the globe began to glow softly. He smiled. She’d gotten him a moon. Earth’s moon if he wasn’t mistaken.

     “Think that will fit in the battery?” she asked.

     He chuckled a little to cover the surge of emotions he suddenly felt. “I think it will.” He wanted to embrace her but he settled for reaching over and hooking a finger under hers. She squeezed back. 

     “You know, if you two want to kiss, EDI and I can cover our eyes.” 

     Instinctively, they both jumped back from each other. Joker had turned his seat around and was regarding them with a very poorly hidden smile.

     “How long have you--” Garrus started.

     “Since you got back from the Collector Base.”

     “Did EDI--” Shepard started.

     “She didn’t have to. Knew it the moment you two looked at each other. It was obvious to anyone who’s been with you as long as I have.” 

     “You also asked me repeatedly to confirm your suspicions, Jeff,” EDI pointed out, looking over her shoulder at him.

     “Minor details.” He waved a hand. 

     “I’m surprised you kept it secret for so long,” Shepard said with a slight smile.

     “You know, I could say the same thing about you, Commander. Now let me just give you two some privacy.” He turned his chair back around. “There we go. Smooch away!”

     Shepard laughed and left the bridge. Garrus followed behind and grabbed her elbow. She turned as he quickly cupped her cheek to place a soft kiss on her lips in the middle of the gangway, in view of the entire crew. He was the luckiest turian in the entire galaxy and Finally everyone else could know it too. When he pulled away a moment later, her cheeks were tinged pink and she blinked at him breathlessly. 

     “I love you,” he said softly.

     “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! <3, Kaitlyn

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts below! Or find me on tumblr: miceenscene. <3, Kaitlyn


End file.
